The Island Blotter

San Juan County Sheriff's Log — Powered by dad humor

Source: Islands Sounder

Week of Aug 12

A San Juan driver learned the hard way that "left turn only" signs aren't suggestions, receiving a verbal warning for their creative interpretation of traffic laws at Nichols and Argyle.

Aug 12, 2024 Nichols Street Traffic
Week of Aug 5

A San Juan driver en route to becoming the island's premiere donut artist was stopped for under-glow, speeding 21 miles over the limit, and creative lane selection—and was ultimately arrested for DUI, proving that some people really do take the scenic route home.

Aug 10, 2024 Traffic

The vehicle's owner received a citation for roadway parking, learning the hard way that "no parking" signs aren't just friendly suggestions.

Aug 10, 2024 Traffic

A vehicle on Fisherman Bay Road decided to take up more than its fair share of the northbound lane, proving that parallel parking is apparently optional when you're not paying attention.

Aug 10, 2024 Fisherman Bay Road Traffic

An Orcas deputy responded to an accident with injury near Deer Harbor and arrested the driver for DUI; the driver was released with a citation and court date, with a report forwarded to the Department of Licensing.

Aug 8, 2024 Deer Harbor Traffic

A vehicle went off Deer Harbor Road and came to rest on the rocks below; Orcas Fire and EMS responded to extract the injured occupant, who was airlifted to the mainland for treatment.

Aug 8, 2024 Deer Harbor Traffic

A deputy clocked a speed demon on Orcas Road doing 52 in a 35—apparently the driver thought the posted limit was more of a suggestion, like "don't take the last donut."

Aug 7, 2024 Orcas Road Traffic
Week of Dec 26

A Lopez driver discovered that ditches are not ideal off-road parking spots, though fortunately a helpful friend and the laws of physics conspired to reunite vehicle and pavement without incident.

Dec 30, 2022 Traffic

A Lopez deputy ticketed a vehicle parked in front of a No Parking sign at Agate Beach Park, because apparently snow provides excellent camouflage for reading comprehension skills.

Dec 29, 2022 Traffic

Two vehicles met in Friday Harbor under icy conditions and nobody was hurt, proving that even collisions follow the island's motto: "We're all just sliding along together."

Dec 29, 2022 Friday Harbor Traffic
Week of Dec 12

A San Juan driver learned the hard way that 61 in a 45 is not a math problem—it's a citation.

Dec 13, 2022 Traffic

Both parties left the scene with valid licenses, insurance, and the knowledge that collisions require paperwork.

Dec 13, 2022 Traffic

Two pickup trucks met on San Juan Island and decided to become better acquainted—both drivers had valid licenses and insurance, so at least somebody was prepared.

Dec 13, 2022 Traffic
Week of Jul 4

A San Juan deputy issued a citation to a driver going 60 in a 45, because apparently that driver thought the speed limit was more of a suggestion than a legal boundary.

Jul 4, 2022 Traffic

A San Juan driver learned the hard way that "fast and roundabout" isn't a personality type—clocked at 42 in a 25, they received a citation for their enthusiastic interpretation of speed limits.

Jul 4, 2022 Traffic
Week of Jun 27

An Orcas driver decided that a 25 mph zone was more of a suggestion than a speed limit, hitting 40 mph instead; they also had the added distinction of doing so with a suspended license, making this a real two-for-one special.

Jul 3, 2022 Traffic
Week of Jan 31

A Lopez driver found out that doing 37 in a 25 on Fisherman Bay Road is a quick way to get a speeding ticket and a slower commute home.

Feb 1, 2022 Fisherman Bay Road Traffic
Week of Jan 2

A suspicious vehicle on a Port Stanley Road property turned out to be completely legitimate, making this the island's least exciting mystery since someone called about a "prowler" that was a mailbox.

Jan 7, 2017 Lopez Island Traffic

An Orcas driver's reckless driving experiment ended when they collided with a large rock—a contest the driver lost decisively, with injuries sustained in the process.

Jan 7, 2017 Olga Traffic

An Orcas driver was apparently auditioning for a faster speed class and achieved a 55 mph in a 40 mph zone; the deputy was unimpressed and issued a citation.

Jan 6, 2017 Orcas Road Traffic