An Orcas deputy investigated a theft, which we can only assume was someone's prized collection of something very important to them.
An Eastsound deputy took a lost wallet report in Eastsound, because apparently even on an island, wallets still manage to go missing.
An Orcas deputy responded to a Discovery Way disturbance and discovered the only crime was poor communication—thankfully, no charges filed.
A harassed caller decided they'd rather have peace than press charges, so a deputy helped them navigate the no-contact order process and showed them the legal way to say "please leave me alone."
An Orcas deputy checked on a subject's welfare on Rosehip Road and, respecting their autonomy, left them to their own devices after offering assistance.
A Lopez driver discovered that ditches are not ideal off-road parking spots, though fortunately a helpful friend and the laws of physics conspired to reunite vehicle and pavement without incident.
A Lopez deputy ticketed a vehicle parked in front of a No Parking sign at Agate Beach Park, because apparently snow provides excellent camouflage for reading comprehension skills.
A deputy checked on a Rosehip Road resident's wellbeing, found them fine, and filed a report confirming that yes, this person exists and is doing okay.
Two vehicles met in Friday Harbor under icy conditions and nobody was hurt, proving that even collisions follow the island's motto: "We're all just sliding along together."
An Eastsound call turned out to be all bark and no bite—verbal only, no crimes committed.
A San Juan driver learned the hard way that 61 in a 45 is not a math problem—it's a citation.
Both parties left the scene with valid licenses, insurance, and the knowledge that collisions require paperwork.
Two pickup trucks met on San Juan Island and decided to become better acquainted—both drivers had valid licenses and insurance, so at least somebody was prepared.
A San Juan market manager called in a shoplifter they'd caught on camera, and a trespass warning letter was issued—because nothing says "please don't steal from us again" quite like official paperwork.
Someone stole a street sign on San Juan, proving that the only thing more elusive than a street sign is whoever took it, as deputies had no workable leads or suspects at the time.
A San Juan resident called to report her brother missing, then called back moments later to say never mind—he was found and doing just fine, which we assume means he wasn't actually missing, just thoroughly lost in his own life.
A Lopez resident reported that their niece in California fell for a Facebook scam promising federal grant money—turns out, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is a scam.
A San Juan resident received threatening text messages and reached out to find out how to fight back legally—turns out, blocks and authorities work better than replying in all caps.
Two Friday Harbor residents discovered that their property line dispute was just a case of "you're on my side" versus "no, YOU'RE on my side"—turns out, neither was committing a crime.
A San Juan deputy took a theft report from sometime in the last three months, which is a wide window for someone to have really committed to the heist.
A San Juan business experienced vandalism involving a broken window, which is unfortunate because glass is notoriously terrible at pressing charges.
A Lopez parent reported that their child was being repeatedly approached by an unfamiliar older man offering rides—a serious safety concern that law enforcement is actively investigating.
An Orcas resident discovered that black ice is nature's way of saying "your car goes where it wants now" after sliding off the roadway.
A student's claim of possessing a knife during an altercation at school resulted in faculty intervention, a weapon seizure, and an ongoing investigation that takes this matter very seriously.
A boater off San Juan got a BUI courtesy of another agency, who made the initial arrest and did most of the heavy lifting before handing off the case.
A man in Friday Harbor was having a very verbal day in Friday Harbor until a deputy asked him to provide a breath sample per court orders, which he declined—a decision that will likely be discussed at length in a courtroom.
A San Juan deputy issued a citation to a driver going 60 in a 45, because apparently that driver thought the speed limit was more of a suggestion than a legal boundary.
The U.S. Coast Guard really knows how to make a splash in Roche Harbor—they detained a boat operator for BUI, proving that "staying afloat" means something very different when you're three sheets to the wind. Deputies took the individual into custody and transported them to San Juan County Jail, where the only thing they'll be navigating is their life choices.
A San Juan deputy investigated a reported order violation and confirmed that yes, in fact, a court order had been violated, with the case now forwarded to the prosecutor.
A San Juan driver learned the hard way that "fast and roundabout" isn't a personality type—clocked at 42 in a 25, they received a citation for their enthusiastic interpretation of speed limits.